Encouraging Children-

Our son Z, 9 years old, has got to be the slowest child on the planet when it comes to doing anything mundane.  In fact, he does everything slowly.  For example, when taking a bath last night, he disappeared for an hour while his three siblings watched two TV shows.  When he came out, it was no skin off his back, he was finally ready for bed.

Our extremely laid-back son can really get under my skin, especially in the mornings.  When he's getting ready for school, it's like pushing a snail through quicksand! He gets distracted by toys and pieces of dirt on the carpet.  He's very intelligent and he's not being belligerent, he's just being Z.

This morning was particularly rough for both of us.  He was going slowly and in my frazzled state of hurrying him, I made some statements to him that were not encouraging at all.  I said things like, "Come on Z, you always go slow- speed it up!"  I try to avoid absolutes (words like always, never, etc...) with my kids because, most of the time, they're used to hurt people, not help.  This morning, I was failing on this front.

When we were waiting for the bus, he told me that he wasn't distracted this morning, he actually had to try on 3 pairs of pants to find a pair that fit him. ( He puts away his own laundry and has two brothers- the clothes often get confused)  I felt about as tall as the snail I mentioned earlier.

I apologized and asked my sweet Z to forgive me.  He happily did so.

The bus rolled away and he waved as they went out of sight.  But, I stood there wondering what he's taking with him today.  What kind of burden is he bearing?  What words are repeating over and over in his head?

I went into the house and checked my Facebook account.  There was a message from my Aunt Wendy. She has been a real encouragement to me when it comes to my writing and encouraging others.  When I would write a funny Christmas letter, she'd be the first to say, "You need to be a writer!"  She has been a model to me in encouragement.

I sat there and cried because I realized that everything out of my mouth this morning had been negative and nagging.  I showed my son no signs of encouragement.  Tomorrow is another day.  Hopefully, I can be that encouraging voice to him, like my Aunt Wendy has been to me.